My Dad, Russ Bell, turns 60 years old next week. In honor of the occasion today’s blog post will investigate what makes my Dad tick, that we may better understand the man who has so profoundly impacted my life.
By reading all his emails.
During the last 10 years (2008 – 2018), Dad emailed* me 261 times. I have gone through each email, recorded the send date, and coded a category class. Let’s take a look!
| Reason Why My Dad Emails Me | Email Count |
| Scheduling/Coordination | 56 |
| Family Message/Share Photo | 48 |
| Groupon/Deal/Event Notice | 45 |
| Share an Article | 41 |
| Cybersecurity/Technology/Other Warning | 24 |
| Give Advice | 23 |
| Share Something Funny | 18 |
| Ask a Favor | 6 |
*I consider the initiation of an email thread to be 1 email; subsequent replies and replies in email threads which Dad did not initiate are not counted.
I originally had this idea because of one category in particular: cybersecurity warnings. Being the millennial that I am, I always regarded these messages from my more techno-phobic father with some amusement. So I had this plan to record ALL his emails, and class them in this way. But as you can see, those virus / phishing / scam warnings are only a middling class.
It turns out, my Dad emails me about a number of other things. And that has changed with time:
A few things jump out at me:
- Dad gave me a lot more advice 10 years ago. Maybe he thinks I no longer need advice?
- Dad hasn’t asked a favor over email since 2010. Does he no longer need help? (really, it’s because I lived at home 2009-2010)
- Dad largely stopped sending me Groupon/deal/event suggestions after 2015. Does he think I’m now capable to find my own opportunities?
The Groupon/LivingSocial thing is something else that sparked this idea in me. My Dad would frequently forward me a restaurant deal he received, or a notice of some upcoming event that he thought I would enjoy, and I always found this very endearing. Here’s a notable series of examples:
7/19/2011 – Free Papa Johns
7/21/2011 – Three-Hour Bike Tour for Two People
7/22/2011 – Tioga-Hammond Lakes, Pennsylvania (idea for visit)
8/02/2011 – Free Cheesesteak from Jerry’s
8/10/2011 – Free Cheesesteak from Jerry’s (same offer a second time)
Adorable. So what else can we derive from Dad’s emails? How about his activity by day of the week:
What if we compare his behavior during the work week to the weekend?
As I worked on this, I reflected on the power of digital records. I read exchanges I had with my father nearly a decade ago of which I had no recollection – yet, here they were in present-day clarity. What an amazing resource for traveling down memory lane, and for longitudinal analysis.
More than anything I reflected on my father. I presented myself with hundreds of messages he sent me over the years, stacked back to back like a decade-long conversation. What may have been obfuscated by isolation before was now made clear in the aggregate.
Why does my Dad email me? I saw 8 reasons:
Scheduling/Coordination – Above all else, Dad wants to hang out with his family. He also wants to make sure you know the meeting time and address.
Family Message/Share Photo – Like his father before him, Dad sees himself as head of household and feels a responsibility to make family announcements and send thoughtful family notes. Email is the perfect vehicle to bind our large group together with news, community, and care.
Groupon/Deal/Event Notice – Dad is always thinking of his family: what they may enjoy, and how he can help.
Share Article – Dad wants to make sure his family is informed with the best information.
Cybersecurity/technology/other warning – Dad worries about his family and wants to make sure we stay safe.
Give Advice – Dad wants to make sure has done everything in his power to set us on the right path. Sometimes, he tells us what we need to hear. On 11/18/2010 he wrote: “What I know and you should know is that your potential is unlimited.” On 4/3/2012: “Embrace what is inevitable.”
Share Something Funny – Life is more fun when you’re laughing; that’s why he married my mother, and why I married my wife.
Ask a Favor – Sometimes, Dad needs help too.
Really, my dad emails me because he loves me. And I feel very lucky for that.
My wife is 38 weeks pregnant, and if all goes according to plan I will be greeting my own son in March. I wonder what sort of messages I will send him during his lifetime. I have a pretty good guess.
